Parody: When Ban Ki Moon went to Kashmir
“Out of appreciation for your last name, we have sent a mission to the Moon”
This week UN General Secretary Ban Ki Moon touched base in Kashmir to take supply of the continuous bloodbath. Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, professional India neighborhood pioneers Omar Abdullah, Mahbooba Mufti and Ghulam Nabi Azad flanked Moon whose visit incited an expected seven million individuals to take to roads in requests for autonomy from India. There could have been all the more, however numerous are dead at this point.
Numerous nonconformists conveyed pennants and bulletins calling the Indian government officials with some truly awful names in neighborhood speech.
“Welcome to Kashmir, Mr Secretary General,” Mufti said, shaking Moon’s hand in Srinagar. “You are going to love it to be here. Your thankfulness rating is much higher here than every one of us consolidated together. Kashmiris adore you.”
“Gracious Yeah,” Moon smiled.
The UN fat cat saw some snide bulletins perusing ‘Boycott Ki Moon Came Soon’ yet his eye got an old torn notice, likely utilized as a part of a few challenges prior that read: ‘Don’t boycott UN’s Moon.’ This after India banned Internet, portable correspondence, streets, and expressways in would like to harden the attack further.
“May I recognize what has happened here before?” Moon asked Modi.
The UN secretary general likewise looked for the reason over why seven million individuals are exhibiting and calling Modi, Mufti, Abdullah and Azad with terrible names.
“I am reluctant to see what they would do to you all in the event that they hated you so much,” he told his hosts.
“You’re mixed up Sir,” Abdullah answered. “It’s lone couple of million Kashmiris. Rest of them affection us… Absolutely! They are additionally going to vote in favor of us to control in 2019.”
Something else Ban Ki Moon acknowledged was that a large portion of the Indian troopers with swelling stomaches and torn outfits have crossed their administration ages when contrasted with dissidents who were for the most part youthful, to which Mufti clarified that future rate of Kashmiris has gone down throughout the years, aside from the professional India legislators.
“We invest a large portion of the energy in New Delhi cottages. Furthermore, Indian security strengths in the valley rest guarantee things. Individuals are biting the dust youthful nowadays, you know. You know Aylan Kurdi or Faris Odeh… and … ,” she said.
“Goodness I see, Poor Kashmiris,” Moon answered.
Seeing the dissenters getting furious, Moon said, “So you think you are sheltered in your own particular patio and nobody will hurt you. Ha?”
“Extremely sheltered Mr Moon,” Modi contributed. “For whatever length of time that we have three spies and four firearms for each Kashmiri.”
Between the discussions, the meeting dignitary heard some uproarious serenades in local dialect.
“Might you be able to please decipher it for me,” Moon asked his hosts when he listened ‘Kati Chu Sani Gubro’.
“They are stating ‘where have every one of the children gone,'” Mufti answered.
“What’s more, where have every one of the children gone?” Moon tried to know.
Azad contributed rapidly to say that the greater part of the young men have traversed LoC before the cross-LoC exchange began in 2005 and rest of them are looking for occupations in the Indian urban areas, without telling their folks.
Moon had found out about mass graves and needed to know all the more yet Azad immediately occupied the point saying: “However our neighborhood police are very dynamic. All the young fellows would be gathered together soon.” Azad further interpreted “Qanoon lamba hai” as “Law is long”.
Moon’s disarray was discernable.
Abdullah too tolled saying that numerous have repudiated Indian international IDs and have gone to Pakistan perpetually after New Delhi’s request for the same.
“That is tragic. Gandhi and Jinnah never denied British international IDs amid their battle against the British domain,” Moon said.
“Look Mr Moon, there are no Gandhis and Jinnahs here. It’s simply Indian powers and Kashmiris,” Azad answered.
The UN pioneer scratched his head as Azad winked his right eye towards Modi and the gathering.
Following two days in New Delhi, addressing some Indian news directs in a presser, Modi said that the reports of seven million protestors were to a great extent overstated.
“I am negating that seven million individuals were in Kashmir boulevards,” he said. “It was a little segment of youth who have feelings of hatred. Some were paid by old foe Pakistan.”
“Mr Modi, there were undoubtedly seven million souls in the boulevards,” Moon attempted to remedy the Indian PM.
Mufti answered rapidly, “Mr Moon what resembles a million walk to you is only a typical thing there. In 60 minutes, a few knaves can collect a million-in number group in Kashmir. You realize what I mean, No?”
“O! That way every Kashmiri is a biggest convincer living on earth. Isn’t it?” Moon tested while Azad pulled back his seat feeling gutted yet continued wearing his grin till the question and answer session was over.
Back in Kashmir, among the dissidents a 25-year-old inhabitant of inward Batamaloo, referred to local people as Kale Kharaab (Hot-headed), who had sorted out the challenge rally, was apparently despondent after the walk was screened on Indian TV channels.
He said that the challenges would have been more effective in the event that all flags and bulletins had been spell checked.
Truth be told one protestor appeared on a news channel conveyed a sign that said, “We need Azad.” Another pennant showed, “In Dependence Only Solution.” Others read: “Rock site”. One TV channel zoomed on a bulletin perusing “Great India Good.”
Guiltless Kale Kharaab didn’t understand that the Indian TV channels have played a spoilsport. Innovation was utilized to change the truth by fiddling with the linguistic use and accentuation of the words.
The bulletins had in truth accurately shouted the trademarks of ‘We need Azadi, Independence Only Solution, Plebiscite, Go India Go’.
After understanding the sham, Kale Kharaab moaned: “Makaar Media (Treacherous media).”
In Delhi Ban Ki Moon was demonstrated the changed footage as well.
“You see what they truly implied Mr Moon,” Modi told the meeting identity.
Regardless of the enormous dissents in valley, Moon’s visit was sold as a “major achievement” that was charged to solidify India’s position at the universal level.
“Out of appreciation for your last name, we have sent a mission to the Moon,” Modi told Ban Ki Moon.
The hosts say farewell to Moon on the landing area of Delhi International Airport.
Keeping in mind Moon waved once more from a separation, Modi whispered in Mufti’s ears, “Mission Moon achieved” as both roared at Modi’s jhumla (punch line).